Postpartum wellness: taking care of yourself after childbirth

We prepare for birth for nine months. The baby’s room, the birth plan, the hospital bag. And then the baby arrives — and no one has really prepared the mother for what comes next. The postpartum period is this vague stretch of a few weeks to several months during which the body rebuilds itself, emotions overflow, and intimacy with oneself (and with a partner) must be completely reinvented. At Adopt1Toy, I regularly receive messages from clients going through this period feeling like they are struggling alone. I’m writing this guide for them — and for all those who deserve honest support, without taboos or pressure to “bounce back quickly.”

What no one really tells you about the postpartum body

The body after childbirth is a construction site. I say that affectionately, not harshly. Whether you gave birth vaginally or by C-section, your body has been through something immense — and it needs time to reorganize.

The most common physical changes

The hormonal drop that follows delivery of the placenta is abrupt. Within a few hours, estrogen and progesterone levels plummet. This hormonal imbalance triggers a cascade of physical effects that many women do not anticipate:

• Vaginal dryness: breastfeeding keeps estrogen levels low, which dries out the mucous membranes. Many breastfeeding women describe intimate dryness as pronounced as during menopause.
• Weakened pelvic floor: whether or not there was an episiotomy or tear, the pelvic floor was subjected to considerable pressure.
• C-section scar: sensitive, sometimes painful during sex, and often overlooked in postpartum advice.
• Sore breasts: even without breastfeeding, milk coming in or engorgement can make this area hypersensitive for several weeks.
• Chronic fatigue: cumulative sleep deprivation directly affects libido, the desire for physical contact, and even the ability to experience pleasure.

These symptoms are normal. They are documented. And yet, too many women think they are “broken” when they experience them.

Postpartum vaginal dryness: understanding and taking action

This is the subject my clients bring up most often, with palpable embarrassment. “I’m too dry, sex hurts, I don’t understand what’s happening.” What’s happening is pure physiology: low estrogen dehydrates the vaginal mucous membranes, reducing their elasticity and natural lubrication.

How long does it last?

The French National Authority for Health recognizes postpartum vaginal dryness as a common symptom, particularly prolonged in breastfeeding women. In some cases, it persists until breastfeeding has completely stopped—sometimes for a year or more. This is not an abnormality; it is a reality that the medical system fails to adequately inform women about.

Practical solutions

The first thing to put on your nightstand when resuming an intimate life postpartum is a quality water-based lubricant. Glycerin-free, paraben-free, and compatible with sensitive mucous membranes. I want to emphasize the formulation: postpartum mucous membranes deserve better than a cheap lubricant loaded with irritating preservatives.

Daily vaginal moisturizers (different from lubricants) are also recommended by midwives to restore tissue hydration over time. Some clients use them for several months with very good results.

At the same time, pelvic floor rehabilitation helps improve local blood flow—which indirectly promotes natural lubrication.

Pelvic floor rehabilitation: what we don't do enough of, or early enough

In France, postnatal pelvic floor rehabilitation is reimbursed by Health Insurance—ten sessions prescribed by a midwife or doctor. And yet, a significant proportion of women do not attend them, whether due to lack of information, lack of time, or because they downplay their symptoms.

Why it matters even without obvious symptoms

The pelvic floor plays a role in urinary continence, but also in the quality of sexual sensations. A poorly toned pelvic floor after childbirth can lead to reduced sensations during intercourse, difficulty reaching orgasm, or even persistent pain during penetration (known as postpartum dyspareunia).

Rehabilitation, whether manual with a midwife or performed using a biofeedback device, helps restore both the tone and flexibility of the pelvic floor. Both are necessary—a pelvic floor that is too hypotonic and one that is too hypertonic cause different problems.

At-home exercises

Kegel exercises remain a foundation, but they must be learned correctly to be effective. Many women do them "backward" without realizing it (pushing downward instead of drawing upward). Guidance from a specialized midwife is invaluable, at least for the first few sessions.

Connected biofeedback devices now make it possible to visualize contractions and progress independently between sessions. I find them useful for women who have difficulty feeling their pelvic floor during the postpartum period.

Libido and desire: the great postpartum silence

"When will I want sex again?" It’s the question no one asks at the maternity ward but everyone asks themselves at home. The honest answer: it varies enormously from one woman to another, and there is no normal timeline.

Why desire disappears (temporarily)

Several mechanisms combine:

• Hormonal: breastfeeding-related prolactin inhibits estrogen, which directly reduces sexual desire.
• Physical: pain, scars, dryness—the body sends signals to proceed with caution.
• Psychological: maternal identity and sexual identity coexist with difficulty during the first few months. Perception of one’s own body changes radically.
• Relationship-related: fatigue and the mental load of the new parental role create distance within the couple, even without any apparent conflict.

A gradual, pressure-free return

Healthcare professionals generally agree on a minimum wait of six weeks before resuming sexual intercourse—the time needed for the tissues to heal. But this timeframe is a physiological minimum, not an automatic green light. Many women need several additional months, and that is perfectly legitimate.

What really helps: starting again with non-penetrative forms of intimacy. Caresses, massages, and gentle exploration of the changed body. Learning to feel desirable again without the goal of performance.

For couples going through a long period without sex, communication becomes the most important tool. Not to justify themselves, but to get through this period together rather than in parallel.

Pain during intercourse: it’s not all in your head

Postpartum dyspareunia — pain during sexual intercourse — affects a significant proportion of women in the months following childbirth. Studies vary, but some data indicate that up to 40 to 60% of women report pain during their first postpartum intercourse.

The main causes

This table is not exhaustive, and in any case, if the pain persists, a consultation with a midwife or gynecologist is essential. Suffering in silence is never the right option.

Taking care of your mental health: the invisible postpartum period

Postpartum well-being is not limited to the physical body. The mental health of new mothers is an issue that French society is beginning to recognize more fully — but still too timidly.

Baby blues vs. postpartum depression: the difference

The baby blues affects between 50 and 80% of women in the first few days after childbirth. Crying, heightened sensitivity, mood swings — it is directly linked to the sudden drop in hormones and usually resolves in less than two weeks.

Postpartum depression, on the other hand, is different. It can appear up to a year after birth, affects approximately 10 to 15% of mothers, and requires professional support. If the sadness persists, if the feeling of disconnection from the baby continues, or if thoughts become dark — it is important to speak to a doctor or midwife. Do not wait.

Maternal identity: Matrescence

There is a concept I wish I had known about sooner: matrescence. This term, popularized by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s and brought back into the spotlight more recently, refers to the profound identity transformation a woman undergoes when she becomes a mother. It is comparable to adolescence in its psychological scope.

This transition is normal. Feeling that you are losing part of yourself as you become a mother is not a sign of being a bad mother — it is a sign of being human.

Daily rituals for reconnecting with your body

Beyond medical care and rehabilitation, there is something valuable in small rituals that help you reconnect with your own body. Not as another obligation — but as a gentle invitation.

What I recommend to my clients

• A daily abdominal massage: a few minutes of vegetable oil (rosehip, argan) on your stomach helps you reconnect with this transformed area, soften the tissues, and create a moment of being present with yourself.
• Simple warm baths: no need for luxurious products. Warm water, twenty minutes, without your phone. A brief break from being constantly available.
• Transitional lingerie: neither maternity underwear nor the underwear you wore before. Lingerie that suits your body today — comfortable, pretty, and chosen for yourself. This simple gesture has a real impact on body image.
• Gentle movement: postnatal yoga, walking, swimming after complete healing. Not to “get your figure back” — but to feel your body as capable, strong, and alive.
• Solo intimate exploration: before resuming sex with a partner, reconnecting with your body on your own. Understanding what feels good now, what has changed, and what remains. It is an often-overlooked but valuable step.

Postpartum well-being rarely follows a straight line. There are days when your body feels better and days when everything seems far away. What I know for certain, after years of supporting women in their relationship with intimacy, is that being kind to yourself is not a luxury — it is the foundation for everything else. Take all the time you need. Your body has accomplished something remarkable. It deserves to be cared for, listened to, and respected at every stage of this recovery.