Postpartum wellness: taking care of yourself after childbirth

We prepare for the birth for nine months. The nursery, the birth plan, the hospital bag. And then the baby arrives—and no one has really prepared the mother for what comes next. The postpartum period is this hazy stretch of a few weeks to several months during which the body rebuilds itself, emotions overflow, and intimacy with yourself (and with your partner) has to be completely reinvented. At Adopt1Toy, I regularly receive messages from customers going through this period feeling like they are struggling alone. I’m writing this guide for them—and for everyone who deserves honest support, without taboos or pressure to “bounce back quickly.”

What no one really says about the postpartum body

The body after childbirth is a work in progress. I say that affectionately, not harshly. Whether you gave birth vaginally or by C-section, your body has been through something immense—and it needs time to reorganize.

The most common physical changes

The hormonal drop following the delivery of the placenta is sudden. Within a few hours, estrogen and progesterone levels plummet. This hormonal imbalance triggers a cascade of physical effects that many women do not anticipate:

• Vaginal dryness: breastfeeding keeps estrogen levels low, which dries out the mucous membranes. Many breastfeeding women describe intimate dryness as pronounced as during menopause.
• Weakened pelvic floor: whether or not there was an episiotomy or tear, the pelvic floor has been subjected to considerable pressure.
• C-section scar: sensitive, sometimes painful during sex, and often overlooked in postnatal advice.
• Sore breasts: even without breastfeeding, milk coming in or breast engorgement can make this area hypersensitive for several weeks.
• Chronic fatigue: accumulated sleep deprivation directly affects libido, the desire for physical contact, and even the ability to feel pleasure.

These symptoms are normal. They are documented. And yet, too many women think they are “broken” when they experience them.

Postpartum vaginal dryness: understanding and taking action

This is the topic my customers bring up most often, with palpable embarrassment. “I’m too dry, sex hurts, I don’t understand what’s happening.” What’s happening is pure physiology: low estrogen dehydrates the vaginal tissues, reducing their elasticity and natural lubrication.

How long does it last?

The French National Authority for Health recognizes postpartum vaginal dryness as a common symptom, particularly prolonged in breastfeeding women. In some cases, it persists until breastfeeding has completely stopped—sometimes for a year or more. This is not an abnormality; it is a reality that the medical system does not inform people about enough.

Practical solutions

The first thing to put on your bedside table when resuming an intimate life postpartum is a quality water-based lubricant. Glycerin-free, paraben-free, and compatible with delicate mucous membranes. I insist on the formulation: postpartum tissue deserves better than a low-quality lubricant loaded with irritating preservatives.

Daily vaginal moisturizers (different from lubricants) are also recommended by midwives to restore tissue hydration over time. Some customers use them for several months with very good results.

At the same time, pelvic floor rehabilitation helps improve local blood flow—which indirectly promotes natural lubrication.

Pelvic floor rehabilitation: what we don’t do enough of, or early enough

In France, postpartum pelvic floor rehabilitation is covered by the French health insurance system—ten sessions prescribed by a midwife or doctor. Yet a significant proportion of women do not complete them, either because they lack information, lack time, or minimize their symptoms.

Why it matters even without obvious symptoms

The pelvic floor plays a role in urinary continence, but also in the quality of sexual sensations. A poorly toned pelvic floor after childbirth can lead to reduced sensations during sex, difficulty reaching orgasm, and even persistent pain during penetration (known as postpartum dyspareunia).

Rehabilitation, whether manual with a midwife or performed using a biofeedback device, helps restore both the tone and flexibility of the pelvic floor. Both are necessary—a pelvic floor that is too hypotonic and one that is too hypertonic cause different problems.

Exercises at home

Kegel exercises remain a foundation, but they must be learned correctly to be effective. Many women do them “backward” without realizing it (pushing down instead of lifting up). Guidance from a specialized midwife is invaluable, at least for the first few sessions.

Connected biofeedback devices now make it possible to visualize contractions and make progress independently between sessions. I find them useful for women who have difficulty feeling their pelvic floor during the postpartum period.

Libido and desire: the great postnatal silence

"When will I feel like having sex again?" It’s the question no one asks at the maternity ward but everyone asks themselves at home. The honest answer: it varies enormously from one woman to another, and there is no normal timeline.

Why desire disappears (temporarily)

Several mechanisms combine:

• Hormonal factors: breastfeeding prolactin inhibits estrogen, which directly reduces sexual desire.
• Physical factors: pain, scars, dryness—the body is sending signals to be cautious.
• Psychological factors: maternal identity and sexual identity are difficult to reconcile during the first few months. The way you perceive your own body changes radically.
• Relationship factors: fatigue and the mental load of the new parental role create distance in the relationship, even without any apparent conflict.

A gradual, pressure-free return

Healthcare professionals generally agree on a minimum wait of six weeks before resuming sexual intercourse—the time needed for the tissues to heal. But this is a physiological minimum, not an automatic green light. Many women need several additional months, and that is completely legitimate.

What really helps: start again with non-penetrative forms of intimacy. Caresses, massages, gentle exploration of the changed body. Learning to feel desirable again without the goal of performance.

For couples going through a long period without sex, communication becomes the most important tool. Not to justify themselves, but to get through this period together rather than in parallel.

Pain during sex: it’s not all in your head

Postpartum dyspareunia — pain during sexual intercourse — affects a significant proportion of women in the months following childbirth. Studies vary, but some data indicate that up to 40 to 60% of women report pain during their first postpartum intercourse.

The main causes

This table is not exhaustive, and in all cases, if the pain persists, a consultation with a midwife or gynecologist is necessary. Suffering in silence is never the right option.

Taking care of your mental health: the invisible postpartum period

Postpartum well-being is not limited to the physical body. The mental health of new mothers is an issue that French society is beginning to recognize more fully — but still too tentatively.

Baby blues vs. postpartum depression: the difference

The baby blues affects between 50 and 80% of women in the first few days after giving birth. Crying, heightened sensitivity, mood swings — it is directly linked to the sudden drop in hormones and generally resolves in less than two weeks.

Postpartum depression, on the other hand, is different. It can appear up to a year after giving birth, affects around 10 to 15% of mothers, and requires professional support. If the sadness lasts, if the feeling of disconnection from the baby persists, or if thoughts become dark — talk to a doctor or midwife. Do not wait.

Maternal identity: Matrescence

There is a concept I wish I had known about sooner: matrescence. This term, popularized by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s and brought back into the spotlight more recently, refers to the profound identity transformation a woman undergoes when she becomes a mother. Comparable in psychological scope to adolescence.

This transition is normal. Feeling like you're losing part of yourself as you become a mother is not a sign of being a bad mother — it's a sign of being human.

Daily rituals to reconnect with your body

Beyond medical care and rehabilitation, there is something precious in the small rituals that reconnect you with your own body. Not as another demand — but as a gentle invitation.

What I recommend to my clients

• Daily abdominal massage: a few minutes of vegetable oil (rosehip, argan) on your stomach can help you reconnect with this transformed area, soften the tissues, and create a moment of presence with yourself.
• Simple warm baths: no need for luxurious products. Warm water, twenty minutes, without your phone. A micro-break from being constantly available.
• Transitional lingerie: neither maternity underwear nor the underwear you wore before. Lingerie that suits your body today — comfortable, pretty, and chosen for yourself. This simple gesture has a real impact on body image.
• Gentle movement: postnatal yoga, walking, swimming after complete healing. Not to "get your figure back" — but to feel your body capable, strong, and alive.
• Solo intimate exploration: before resuming sex with a partner, reconnecting with your body on your own. Understanding what feels good now, what has changed, and what remains. It is an often-overlooked but precious step.

Postpartum well-being is rarely built in a straight line. There are days when your body feels better and days when everything seems far away. What I know for certain, after years of supporting women in their relationship with intimacy: being kind to yourself is not a luxury — it is the foundation for everything else. Take all the time you need. Your body has accomplished something extraordinary. It deserves to be cared for, listened to, and respected at every stage of this rebuilding process.