Sex toys: how do you choose the right one?

What is a sex toy?

A sex toy is an intimate object designed to stimulate an erogenous zone of the body. It may be vibrating or non-vibrating, external or internal, manual or motorized, and sometimes connected to an app. Safe use depends mainly on the material, hygiene, and appropriate use for your anatomy.

The main types of sex toys available are:

• Clitoral vibrators: external stimulation of the clitoris and clitoral glans
• Suction stimulators: air pulses on the clitoral hood
• G-spot vibrators: internal stimulation of the front vaginal wall
• Rabbits and dual stimulators: simultaneous internal and clitoral stimulation
• Plugs and anal stimulators: stimulation of the anal canal and perianal nerve endings
• Prostate stimulators: prostate stimulation through the anus
• Masturbators: external or integrated penile stimulation
• Vibrating cock rings: penis and clitoris stimulation for couples

In our specialty store, the models most often chosen by beginners are compact clitoral vibrators and suction stimulators. These are accessible formats that are easy to use and suitable for initial exploration without a significant investment.

Why choose a sex toy suited to your anatomy

Approximately 70 to 80% of women reach orgasm primarily through clitoral rather than vaginal stimulation (Herbenick et al., Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2018). This figure illustrates the importance of choosing a sex toy based on your own anatomy and actual preferences, rather than following a standard design or trend.

The clitoris is an extensive internal organ: the visible clitoral glans represents only a small part of it. The vestibular bulbs and clitoral roots extend on either side of the vagina, beneath the vulva. Depending on the shape and position of the clitoral glans in relation to the vaginal opening, some sex toy designs will be more effective than others. This is why two people may have opposite opinions about the same model.

In men, penile stimulation involves the glans, the frenulum of the penis — a particularly innervated area located beneath the glans — and the perineum. Prostate stimulation, accessible through the anus, involves the prostate, a gland located between the bladder and rectum. The perineum, the area between the anus and scrotum, is also an often-neglected erogenous zone.

The main types of stimulation

• External stimulation: vibrations or air pulses on the clitoris, vulva, penis, perineum
• Internal vaginal stimulation: pressure or vibrations on the front vaginal wall, the G-spot
• Dual stimulation: simultaneous internal and clitoral stimulation, as in rabbit models
• Anal stimulation: nerve endings in the anal canal, perineum, and prostate in men
• Penile stimulation: friction, pressure, or vibration on the glans, frenulum, and shaft of the penis

How does a vibrating sex toy work?

The vast majority of motorized sex toys work using an integrated electric motor that generates vibrations transmitted to the surface of the object. Vibration quality — its consistency, depth, and frequency spectrum — depends directly on the motor technology used.

ERM motor vs. linear motor

• ERM (eccentric rotating mass): the most common motor in entry-level and mid-range products. It generates a surface-level, fairly diffuse vibration by rotating an unbalanced mass. Inexpensive to produce, it may become less consistent over time and tends to be noisier than linear motors.
• Linear motor: generates a more stable, precise vibration that is often perceived as deeper. Used in premium ranges — Womanizer, Lelo, We-Vibe. Quieter, more durable, and generally offering a smoother increase in intensity.

The sensation depends as much on vibration stability as on raw power. A consistent vibration is generally more comfortable and effective than an irregular vibration at the same power level. This is why some models that are less powerful on paper may be more enjoyable to use than a technically more powerful model with a lower-quality motor.

How a suction stimulator works

Suction stimulators — also called air-pulse stimulators or clitoral suction stimulators — do not technically vibrate. They create air pulses inside a silicone head placed around the clitoral hood, indirectly reproducing suction stimulation without direct contact. This technology, popularized by Womanizer and Satisfyer, produces a type of stimulation distinct from classic vibration — often described as more direct, more focused on the clitoral glans, and leading to orgasm more quickly for many users.

Head positioning is important: it should form a slight seal around the clitoral hood without pressing on it. Incorrect positioning significantly reduces the device's effectiveness.

Rechargeable vs. battery-powered

A rechargeable lithium-ion battery provides more consistent voltage than an alkaline battery system, resulting in more even vibrations until the charge runs out. Rechargeable models are also more economical in the long term and generate less waste. Battery-powered models remain useful when traveling or for ultra-compact formats where integrating a rechargeable battery would not be possible without increasing the object's size.

Which sex toy should you choose for whom?

Beginners

For a first experience, choose a compact, quiet, easy-to-use format. A clitoral vibrator with a single control, or an entry-level suction stimulator, is a good starting point. Avoid overly large formats, complex multifunction models with many buttons, and anal-use models without prior experience. Beginners generally prefer to start at a low intensity and progress at their own pace.

Solo female use

Clitoral vibrators, suction stimulators, and G-spot vibrators are the most suitable formats. The choice depends on whether you prefer external, internal, or both types of stimulation. Rabbit models combine both, but require a good understanding of your anatomy to be fully effective—the position of the clitoral arm must correspond to the distance between the clitoris and the vaginal opening, which varies from person to person.

Solo male use

Manual or automatic masturbators, cockrings, and prostate stimulators are the main formats. Automatic masturbators such as those offered by Kiiroo or Autoblow mechanically reproduce friction-based stimulation. Curved prostate stimulators are designed to reach the prostate through the anterior wall of the anal canal—a particularly nerve-dense area whose stimulation can be highly intense.

Couples' use

Vibrating cockrings, remote-controlled vibrating eggs, wearable stimulators, and connected models are designed for use by two people. Some models can be worn during intercourse to stimulate both partners simultaneously. Connected sex toys also allow remote use via a smartphone app.

Seeking discretion

Mini purse vibrators, vibrating eggs, and small clitoral stimulators are designed to be carried discreetly. Noise level is a factor to check—some manufacturers indicate a decibel level, while others use terms such as "whisper mode" or "silent." Linear motors are generally quieter than ERM motors at equivalent power.

People with disabilities or reduced mobility

Handle ergonomics, the object’s weight, and ease of access to the controls are particularly important criteria for people with reduced hand or arm mobility. Some models offer simplified controls or positioning supports. Remote-controlled or connected sex toys also allow use with external assistance.

The 5 essential criteria for making the right choice

1. The material

The material is the first safety criterion. Choose a nonporous material whenever possible—platinum-cured silicone, ABS, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. These materials are easier to maintain, do not retain bacteria, and remain chemically stable over time.

2. The motor

Motor quality determines vibration quality. A linear motor provides more stable and precise vibration than an ERM motor. Raw power is not the only criterion—vibration consistency and depth matter just as much.

3. Water resistance

The IPX rating must be clearly stated if use underwater is being considered. IPX4 = splash-resistant. IPX7 = temporary immersion possible. If no IPX rating is indicated: not waterproof.

4. Lubricant compatibility

The lubricant must be compatible with the sex toy’s material. A silicone-based lubricant can permanently damage the surface of a platinum-cured silicone sex toy. Water-based lubricants are the most versatile.

5. Ergonomics

Shape directly affects sensation and ease of use. A curve can target a specific area—the G-spot or prostate. A flared base is essential for any accessory intended for anal use. An ergonomic handle improves grip and control.

How to choose a sex toy: detailed criteria

Intensity

A model offering at least 3 to 5 intensity levels allows you to adapt the stimulation to how you feel at the moment and progress over time. Avoid models whose lowest setting is already too intense for comfortable use—difficult to assess online, but customer reviews often mention this point. The ability to decrease intensity is just as important as the ability to increase it.

Ergonomics and shape

Before looking for maximum power, check that the shape matches your anatomy. A G-spot vibrator that is too straight will not effectively stimulate the anterior vaginal wall. A rabbit vibrator whose clitoral arm is too short or too long will not position the stimulation correctly. Check the precise dimensions—insertable length, curvature angle, and maximum diameter—before buying.

Noise level

Noise is a criterion that is often underestimated before the first purchase. ERM motors tend to be noisier than linear motors. If discretion is important, look for “silent,” “quiet,” or a noise level below 50 dB in the product details. The shell materials also influence noise transmission.

Size

For sex toys designed for vaginal or anal insertion, the size should match what the user feels comfortable accommodating. A toy that is too large will be uncomfortable or even painful. A toy that is too small for anal use may not stay in place. Product descriptions generally indicate the total length, insertable length, and maximum diameter. For beginners, a diameter of around 3 to 3.5 cm and an insertable length of 10 to 12 cm provide a comfortable starting point for most anatomies.

Technology

Classic vibration, suction, pulsation, rotation, and back-and-forth movement: each technology produces a different type of sensation. No technology is universally superior—it all depends on what the user is looking for. Multifunction models combine several technologies but are generally bulkier, more complex to use, and more expensive.

Useful comparison: vibration vs. suction

Classic vibration: diffuse or concentrated stimulation depending on the shape of the head. Suitable for external clitoral stimulation, the G-spot, the prostate, and a wide variety of erogenous zones. A universal technology, available in all formats and price ranges. It can be used over the entire body.

Suction / air pulsation: stimulation targeted exclusively at the clitoral hood. The sensation is described as more direct, more localized, and often quicker to orgasm for many users. Less versatile than vibration—it cannot be used on other areas—but particularly effective for pure clitoral stimulation.

Rotation / back-and-forth stimulation: some models incorporate a rotating head or a back-and-forth mechanism that replicates penetrative stimulation. These technologies are generally reserved for premium ranges and require more careful handling.

In practice: the two main technologies—vibration and suction—are complementary. Some models combine them, such as certain new-generation rabbits. For a first purchase, choose the technology that matches the area and type of stimulation you prioritize.

Materials: understand before you buy

Non-porous materials

Easier to maintain and more stable over time:

• Platinum-cured silicone: non-porous, free of migrating plasticizers, and chemically stable. The term "medical-grade silicone" is often used in marketing—the key factors are the material's actual chemical stability and formulation. Platinum-cured silicone is valued for its neutrality and durability.
• ABS body-safe: rigid, non-porous plastic used for shells and non-insertable parts. Easy to clean and durable.
• Borosilicate glass: non-porous, compatible with all lubricants, and can be sterilized in boiling water if non-electronic. Pleasant to touch and conducts temperature well.
• Stainless steel: non-porous, durable, compatible with all lubricants, and sterilizable. Heavier than silicone or glass for an equivalent volume.

Porous materials

These materials require extra care regarding hygiene and storage:

• PVC: soft, affordable, but porous. May contain phthalates depending on the formulation.
• TPE / TPR: soft, porous thermoplastic materials. Very common in entry-level product ranges.
• Latex: porous and allergenic for some people. Test on the wrist before prolonged use.
• Jelly / cyberskin: varying commercial names for porous, soft materials. The surface is difficult to sterilize properly.

Why some sex toys become sticky

With some soft materials, plasticizers can migrate over time. This can cause a sticky surface, a changed odor, or visible gradual degradation. The risk increases if two incompatible materials remain in direct contact during storage. A sex toy whose surface has become sticky must no longer be used.

Waterproofing: understanding the IPX rating

The IPX rating is defined by the IEC 60529 / EN 60529 standard. When IPX is indicated, the “X” means that protection against solids is not specified—only protection against water is certified.

If no clearly indicated IPX rating is provided on the product page, the model is considered non-waterproof and must not be submerged.

Lubricant compatibility

Water-based lubricants are the most versatile and compatible with all materials. Silicone-based lubricants are not recommended with platinum silicone and TPE/TPR—they can irreversibly alter the surface.

Browse our selection of lubricants to find the right formula for your material.

Storage: avoid interactions between materials

Simple rule: keep each sex toy in its own fabric pouch or original box. Two incompatible materials stored in direct contact can damage each other — sticky surface, altered texture, migration of plasticizers.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Choosing a size that is too large for beginners: an oversized sex toy is uncomfortable and discourages practice. Start with a moderate diameter and length, then progress gradually.
• Neglecting the material: a low price may indicate a porous or chemically unstable material. Check the declared composition before buying.
• Using the wrong lubricant: a silicone-based lubricant used on a platinum-cured silicone sex toy can irreversibly damage the surface after just a few uses.
• Storing without separation: two sex toys made of incompatible materials stored in direct contact can damage each other. Keep each item in its own pouch.
• Neglecting maintenance: a poorly cleaned sex toy poses real hygiene risks, especially with porous materials or after shared use.
• Using an anal sex toy without a flared base: every accessory intended for anal use must have a flared base or safety ring to prevent accidental migration. This is a non-negotiable rule.
• Not checking the IPX rating before water use: immersing a non-waterproof sex toy can permanently damage it and pose an electrical hazard.
• Relying solely on the advertised power: raw power does not determine the quality of the sensation. The consistency and depth of the vibration, which are linked to motor quality, are equally important criteria.

Hygiene and care

• Cleaning after each use: use lukewarm water and pH-neutral soap for non-porous materials. Use a specialized sex toy cleaner for porous materials. Rinse thoroughly and dry before storing.
• Sterilization: non-electronic borosilicate glass and stainless steel can be sterilized in boiling water. Non-electronic platinum-cured silicone can be placed in the dishwasher. Porous materials cannot be sterilized.
• Products to avoid: harsh, fragranced, or alcohol-based products can damage the surface of materials and irritate mucous membranes. Prefer cleaners specifically designed for sex toys.
• Sharing: when used with multiple partners, using a condom is recommended, even with non-porous materials.
• Charging: do not repeatedly allow the battery to discharge completely. Store it fully charged if the sex toy will not be used for an extended period.

When should you replace a sex toy?

• Surface that has become sticky despite cleaning
• Visible cracks or damaged material
• Unstable or unusually noisy motor
• Damaged charging cable
• Persistent odor after thorough cleaning

A degraded material or unstable electrical system should no longer be used.

Applicable European standards

The CE marking is a manufacturer's declaration certifying compliance with the applicable European requirements at the time the product is placed on the market. REACH regulations govern certain chemical substances, including phthalates found in some PVC products. The RoHS Directive limits the use of hazardous substances in electrical and electronic equipment, which applies to motorized sex toys.

In brief: how to choose your sex toy

• Identify the area to stimulate: clitoris, G-spot, prostate, anal use, or couples' use
• Choose the type of stimulation: vibration, suction, or dual stimulation
• Check the material: prioritize platinum-cured silicone, borosilicate glass, or ABS
• Choose the size according to your anatomy and experience level
• Check the IPX rating if use in water is planned
• Choose a lubricant compatible with the material
• Browse our selection of sex toys, our clitoral vibrators, our suction stimulators, and our premium sex toys