The Best Positions for Anal Sex: A Practical and Sensual Guide

Anal sex remains one of the most searched-for topics on the web—and yet one of the least well covered. You either find porn that bears no resemblance to reality, or medical articles as sexy as a medication leaflet. Since I founded Adopt1Toy eight years ago, I've had hundreds of conversations on the subject—in the shop, by DM, and in comments at 11 p.m. from someone who wanted to know “how to really go about it.” That's exactly what this guide is: what I would say to that person directly, with all the honesty it requires.

There are no absolute best positions for anal sex. There are the best positions for you, with you, tonight. It depends on each person's anatomy, level of experience, trust in your communication, and what you're looking for—gentleness, depth, control. I'll give you the keys to choose.

Before talking about positions: the fundamentals we too often skip

I put this first because it's where most bad experiences begin. We think about “positions,” jump into acrobatics, and forget the basics that make all the difference.

Lubrication, really

The anal canal does not lubricate itself naturally. That's anatomy, not a question of desire. So without lubricant—in a generous amount—comfort will never be achieved, whatever position you choose. I recommend a lubricant specifically designed for anal play, thick and long-lasting. The Bijoux Indiscrets soothing anal oil is perfect for this: made with plant extracts and designed for slow, gentle intercourse, it supports exactly what the body needs in these moments.

Progressive preparation

The sphincter muscles need time to adapt. Using an anal plug or a string of beads before intercourse allows the muscle tissue to relax gently, without forcing it. The Addicted Toys anal bead chain is thoughtfully designed for this: graduated diameters and a flexible material. A few minutes are enough to prepare the way—and to make sure what follows is genuinely pleasurable, not merely tolerable.

Real-time communication

This is not personal-development advice; it is pragmatism: a position that works well at one moment can become uncomfortable if the angle shifts slightly, relaxation decreases, or fatigue sets in. Saying “gentler,” “wait,” or “that feels good” along the way is not an admission of failure—it is what allows both people to truly enjoy themselves.

Positions for beginners: maximum control, controlled depth

These positions have one thing in common: they give the receiving partner control over speed and depth. That is non-negotiable when you are starting out.

Adapted doggy style: the standard, but not just any way

This is probably the best-known position for anal penetration—and for good reason. The receiving partner is on all fours, creating a naturally favorable alignment. But “on all fours” is not enough as an instruction: the angle details change everything.

• Knees slightly wider than hip-width apart
• Pelvis tilted slightly forward (moderate arch)
• Support yourself on your forearms rather than straight arms—this lowers the shoulders and favorably changes the angle of penetration
• A pillow under the stomach if needed to maintain the position effortlessly

What I like about this position for beginners: the penetrating partner has good visibility and can adjust extremely precisely. The potential pitfall: it also gives that partner a lot of control over depth—so verbal communication remains essential.

On the side (spooning): the most underrated position

Both partners lie on their sides, spooning, with the receiving partner in front. This is my number-one recommendation for first times and for evenings when you want gentleness without having to manage a position.

Why it works so well: penetration is naturally limited in depth by the position of the bodies, which reduces the risk of discomfort. The bodies are pressed together, creating a sense of physical security. The hands remain free—for clitoral stimulation, holding on, or guiding. Communication is also easier because you are facing the same direction: you can speak directly without shouting over someone’s shoulder.

Fine adjustment: the receiving partner can bring their top leg toward their chest to open the angle—or lay it flat to reduce depth. A one-centimeter shift can genuinely change the experience.

Intermediate positions: exploring depth and rhythm

Once you're used to it and know your own body's signals (and the other person's), you can explore other sensations.

Anal missionary: contact and connection

The penetrated person lies on their back with their legs raised. Psychologically, this is a more exposed position than the spooning or doggy-style positions, and that's part of its appeal. Eye contact is direct. The intimacy is intense.

For this to work anatomically: the penetrated person's pelvis must be elevated. A firm pillow under the buttocks, or even two, completely changes the angle. Without one, the entry angle can be uncomfortable. Legs resting on the partner's shoulders or held by them — both work depending on each person's anatomy.

What you can try in this position: varying the angle of penetration according to the height of the pelvis, and adding a vibrating ring at the perineum for simultaneous stimulation. The Pipedream vibrating anal ring is designed exactly for this — with a remote control, so you can avoid acrobatics during intercourse.

The seated position (straddling): total control for the penetrated partner

The penetrated person sits on their partner, who is lying on their back, facing them or with their back to them. They control the depth, pace, and angle. It's a position of power and trust — and it's particularly well suited to people who want to feel exactly what's happening rather than simply endure it.

Face-to-face (classic straddling): more emotional connection, with the possibility of clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

Facing away (reverse cowgirl/cowboy): a different sensation of depth, looking toward the partner's feet — some people find it anatomically easier depending on the curvature of the penetrating body part.

Point to note: in this position, the angle can quickly become uncomfortable for the penetrating partner if they move in the wrong direction. Communication is always essential.

Advanced positions: for those who know their bodies

These positions require good practice, an accustomed body, and well-established communication. They offer sensations of depth and angles that other positions do not.

Legs over the shoulders (advanced missionary position)

A variation on missionary with the penetrated person’s legs raised much higher—over the shoulders or held toward the head. Penetration is deeper, and the angle is more direct. The sensation is clearly different from the standard version.

This is not a position for first times. The depth can be surprising, and the physical position requires some flexibility. If you are not comfortable, your body will tell you immediately.

Standing, leaning forward

The penetrated person leans forward, with their hands braced against a wall or the edge of a bed, legs slightly apart. Penetration is deep, and the pace can be vigorous. This is a standing position, which completely changes the energetic dynamic of sex—many people describe a different kind of intensity.

Adjusting the height is important: if the two partners are not the same height, a step stool or standing on tiptoe may be necessary for proper alignment.

Lying on the stomach, legs together

The penetrated person lies flat on their stomach, legs together (not spread apart). The penetrating person is on top. This position creates compression, making penetration tighter and therefore more intense for both partners. The position naturally limits depth, which can be reassuring.

What I often hear on this subject is that the sensations are truly different from all other positions—not better or worse, but distinct. Worth trying if you feel like varying things.

Positions and male pleasure: the P-spot at the center

For cis men, anal sex—whether involving penetration or stimulation with a toy—can reach the prostate, also known as the “P-spot.” It is a highly innervated erectile zone, and stimulating it can produce orgasms that feel qualitatively different from a classic penile orgasm.

The positions that facilitate prostate access are those in which penetration creates a slight angle toward the abdomen (anteriorly), not toward the lower back. In practice: missionary with the pelvis elevated, spooning with a slight forward tilt, or sitting face-to-face.

If you’re exploring solo or partnered prostate stimulation with a toy, the Pipedream vibrating anal ring with built-in massager is designed exactly for that: it combines perineum stimulation with prostate access in a single piece.

What the position will never do for you: a summary table

The positioning mistakes almost everyone makes at first

1. Starting too fast

The sphincter isn’t like other muscles. It can relax quickly, but it can also contract involuntarily if progression is too rapid. Taking your time isn’t a matter of willpower—it’s physiology.

2. Choosing an “impressive” position rather than one that suits you

What I often see when people come into the store after a bad experience: they wanted to try a position they saw in a video, without the preparation, experience, and accustomed bodies that the video obviously doesn’t show.

3. Ignoring pain

Slight discomfort at the beginning of penetration can be normal while the body adjusts. Pain is not. It’s not a matter of courage or “getting over the hurdle.” It’s a signal. Stop, redirect, and resume if you feel like it.

4. Not using a toy for foreplay

Even briefly using an anal bead chain as preparation—five to ten minutes—dramatically improves comfort during sex. It isn’t mandatory, but it’s an option many people don’t think to use.

5. Not reapplying lubricant during sex

Lubricant spreads, gets diluted, and disappears. Reapplying lubricant during sex—without drama or an abrupt interruption—is a habit worth developing. Keeping the bottle within reach really changes the experience.

Anal sex is neither a performance nor a box to tick. It’s a practice that calls for curiosity, patience with yourself, and frank communication with your partner. When these conditions are met, the positions I’ve listed here offer genuinely different sensations—and that’s the whole point.