Couples’ games with accessories: where to start?

Couples' play accessories: the basics

Accessories make it possible to diversify games and explore new sensations. They can be simple — blindfolds, dice, feathers — or more sophisticated — cuffs, vibrators, massage candles. The choice should take three fundamental factors into account: the couple's level of experience, mutual preferences, and safety.

One principle guides the choice of accessories for beginners: start with the accessory that requires the least technical preparation and offers the most psychological comfort. A silk blindfold meets both criteria — no instructions, no learning curve, immediate sensory impact.

The recommended progression by level

Level 1 — Beginners: simple sensory accessories

The blindfold / sleep mask — deprives one partner of sight to heighten tactile and auditory sensations. A silk or satin blindfold is gentle on the skin and reassuring. Suitable for everyone from the first time. Choose an opaque but non-constricting blindfold — the partner must be able to breathe freely and remove it easily if needed.

The feather / silk scarf — exploring the body with soft materials creates light sensations that activate low-pressure cutaneous mechanoreceptors. Alternating between a feather (light stimulation) and a silk scarf (more enveloping stimulation) creates a varied sensory palette. No risk, no preparation.

Naughty dice — randomly suggest actions and body parts. Chance adds an element of surprise and removes the pressure of making a direct request. One die indicates an action (kiss, caress, blow, massage), while the other indicates a body area. Ideal for couples looking to break the ice without too much involvement.

Challenge cards — offer scenarios or actions to perform, sorted by intensity level. They let you try out ideas without having to put them into words yourself — reducing the awkwardness of making a direct request. Choose a game whose cards match the couple's comfort level.

Level 2 — Intermediate: sensations and stimulation

Fur or fabric cuffs — allow you to explore gentle restraint and vulnerability. Fur cuffs are soft, comfortable, and easy to use. Fabric cuffs with Velcro fasteners offer easy control — the partner can free themselves if needed. A safeword is essential. Never fasten the cuffs too tightly — check that two fingers fit between the wrist and the cuff.

Massage candles — produce warm wax that becomes massage oil as it melts. They combine three effects: ambient lighting, fragrance, and gentle warmth for massage. Choose a candle made from soy or vegetable wax—with a melting point of 40–50 °C, well below the 60–70 °C of a regular candle. Always test the temperature on your wrist before applying it to your partner. See our selection of massage candles.

Couples vibrator — designed to stimulate both partners simultaneously. Choose a medical-grade silicone model that is phthalate-free and waterproof for easy cleaning. Read the instructions for use and start at the lowest intensity. Clean with soapy water or a sex toy cleaner before and after each use.

Warming massage oils — warm up through contact with the skin or friction. Check compatibility with condoms (oily products degrade latex) and ensure they contain no allergens. Test on the crook of the elbow before use. See our selection of massage oils.

Level 3 — Advanced: in-depth exploration

Nipple clamps — apply controlled pressure to the nipples, creating a sensation that combines slight pain and pleasure. Reserved for couples who have explored and enjoyed sustained nipple stimulation by other means. Start with spring clamps with adjustable pressure. Never leave clamps in place for more than 10–15 minutes.

Progressive-size anal plug — anal stimulation that can enhance sensations for both partners. Start with S sizes (maximum diameter of 3–4 cm). Always use a compatible lubricant. Choose a plug with a flared base (to prevent the risk of complete insertion). Progressing through sizes is essential—never start with an advanced size.

Bondage rope — aesthetic and sensory restraint derived from the practice of Shibari/Kinbaku. Choose a cotton or treated-jute rope, never nylon or polyester (risk of cuts and chafing). Learn at least the basic knots and safety points (never around the neck; check blood circulation regularly). A gesture-based safeword is essential if the hands are tied.

The suction clitoral stimulator — micropulsation technology that simulates oral stimulation. Choose a model made of medical-grade silicone with different intensity levels. Particularly effective for women who have difficulty reaching orgasm through penetration alone — a scientifically documented pleasure tool.

Accessory selection criteria

Preferred materials

• Medical-grade silicone: non-porous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic, sterilizable — the best choice for sex toys that come into contact with mucous membranes
• Stainless steel or borosilicate glass: non-porous, sterilizable, compatible with all lubricants
• ABS (hard plastic): acceptable for non-penetrative items or with a condom
• Cotton, silk, satin: for blindfolds and restraints — soft and washable

Materials to avoid

• Porous PVC and vinyl: absorb bacteria and are difficult to disinfect properly
• Non-medical-grade latex: allergy risk, degraded by oils
• Uncertified cheap plastics: may contain endocrine-disrupting phthalates

Lubricant compatibility

• Water-based lubricant: compatible with all materials and condoms — the universal choice
• Silicone-based lubricant: degrades silicone sex toys — avoid with these accessories
• Oil-based lubricant: degrades latex (condoms and latex restraints) — incompatible

Hygiene and care

• Before first use: wash with hot soapy water or a specific sex toy cleaner
• After each use: clean immediately, then air-dry or dry with a clean cloth
• Sterilization: medical-grade silicone and stainless steel can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher (without detergent for silicone)
• Storage: in a clean fabric bag or in their original box — never in a drawer with other objects
• Shared toys: use a condom for shared sex toys or reserve each accessory for a single partner

Comparison table of accessories by level

Common mistakes to avoid

• Buying without consulting each other: discuss it before purchasing an accessory — make sure both partners like it
• Choosing an accessory that is too advanced for the couple's level: start one level below what you think you are ready for — it is almost always the right choice
• Neglecting material quality: cheap sex toys may contain phthalates — choose certified phthalate-free brands
• Forgetting lubricant: essential for all penetrative toys — choose the right base for the accessory
• Not testing it on yourself first: before using a candle or oil on your partner, always test it on your own wrist
• Skipping aftercare: after intense accessory play, aftercare is especially important

In brief: couples' play accessories

• Start with simple sensory accessories — blindfolds, feathers, and dice — before moving on to technical accessories
• Choose medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass for accessories that come into contact with mucous membranes
• Use a water-based lubricant with silicone sex toys
• Clean before and after every use — hygiene is non-negotiable
• Buy together — never surprise your partner with an accessory they did not choose
• Safewords and aftercare are essential from intermediate-level accessories onward